J O K E S

GIRLZZZ
  joke
1960 girl :Pehla phela pyaar hai chhai bahar hai,
aja sajna tera intzar hai.

2004 girl : dusara/tisra pyar hai,
dil bekrar hai,
aja more sajna verna chautha tayyar hai.

Mobile
  Joke 
What is a similarity between Mobile & Marriage?

""Kash thode din ruk jaata to achha Model mil jaata...!!!""

Bush ransom
  Joke 
A man is caught in traffic when suddenly someone taps on the window.
He lowers the window and asks what he wanted.
The man says, President Bush was kidnapped and the ransom is $5 Million
dollars, and that if the ransom is not paid, the kidnappers have
threatened to douse him with gasoline and set him on fire!
"We are doing a collection, do you wish to participate?"
The man asks "on the average what are people giving?"
The man says "5 to 10 liters!

Biloo n Tiloo
  Joke 
Two friends billooo & tillooo went to school for appearing in English exam ( 7th standard ) .
 They had crammed an essay of "MY BEST FRIEND". But unfortunately , in the question-paper it was
written ...... write an essay on "MY FATHER"in just 30-45 words .So billooo was utterly confused &
 nervous ...what to do !!! Tillooo gave an idea . . . . just write the essay My best friend & just
keep on replacing the word friend with the father..... So this was how billooo & tillooo wrote the
essay "MY FATHER"......Fathers & fathers are everywhere , but good fathers are very rare . I have
so many fathers , but my best father is pyarelal. He is my neighbour. He often comes to my home &
my mother likes him very much.

Clever. . .
  Joke 
Teacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?
Pupil: Moon...
Teacher : Why?
Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day
 time when we don't need it.

AIRPLANE
  Joke 

Two hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for
elk hunting.  They were quite successful in their venture,
and bagged six big bucks.  The pilot came back as arranged
to pick them up.

They started loading their gear into the plane, including
the six elk.  But the pilot objected.  "The plane can take
out only four of your elk; you will have to leave two
behind," he stated.

They argued with him; the year before they had shot six
and the pilot had allowed them to put all aboard, and the
plane was just the same model and capacity as this.

Reluctantly the pilot finally permitted them to put all
six aboard.

But when they attempted to take off and leave the valley
where they were, the little plane could not make it, and
they crashed in the wilderness.

Climbing out of the wreckage, one hunter said to the
other, "Do you know where we are?"

"I think so," replied the other hunter. "I think this is
about the same place where the plane crashed last year."
 

 teen dost
  Joke 
Teen dost namaz parh rahay hotay hain to achanak samnay say bili gozartee hai to in main say" Ek
 kehta hai wooh dekhoo bili ja rahi hai to dosra kehta hai namaz main bolna gunnah hai  to teesra
 boolta sukar hai main khamoosh raha." 

joke wali shayari
Khuda karay sab haseenaaon ke baap mar jaain
Maut ka bahana ho aur hum in kay ghar jaain

Wo larayeee hi kya JISME DO CHAAR Gaaliyan na ho .....
ARE Wo SASURAAL HI kya jahan koi Saali na ho!!

pathan
  Joke 

A Pathan goes into a store and sees a shining object. He asks the clerk,
"What is that shiny object?" The clerk replies, "That is a thermos flask."
The Pathan then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold."
The Pathan says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos.
His Pathan boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It's a thermos flask."
The boss then says, "What does it do?"
He replies, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
The Pathan replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

WOW wht a joke
  Joke 

ek maasi hoti hai woo noukri chor kar jarahi hoti hai tu maalkaan us sey poochthi hai key tum agar
chaley gai tu merey husband ku kahnaye koun kilayee gaa, woo kehthee hai key aap fikr maat kerien woo
bhi merey saath jaa rahey hain....

Pakistanis on the sun
  Joke 
3 scientists happen to meet each other by chance at a party, an American, a Russian, and a Pakistani.
They boast their country's science achievements. The Russian says: We were the 1st ones in space, the
American says, we were the 1st to goto moon, The Pakistani thinks hard and says: we will be 1st ones on
 the sun! Both the american and russian start laughing, and say to the pakistani, you stupid the sun is
too hot, your spaceship will burn b4 it reaches the sun. The Pakistan scientist remains cool and calm,
 and says: You are stupid. We will go there at night!!!! 

Santa singh
  Joke 
Ek din santa singh beach par letey hue thye to ek Angraiz ata hai aur khaita hai
 ke "you are relaxing" santa replies "No iam Santa singh"
Phir santa singh wahan se uthtey hain aur agey nikaltey hain to ek angraiz leta hua hota hai
 to santa singh khetey hain "you are relaxing" to woh kheta hai ! YES to santa singh usey martey
 hain aur khete hain ke "woh tujhe kab se wahan dhoond raha hai" .......

the fridge and the mayonnaise
  Joke 
what did the mayonnaise say to the fridge?
"shut the door I am dressing."

BAAP OR BETA
  Joke 
AIK BAAP BETA GHAR KA DARWAZAY PAR BEHTAY THAY SAMNAY SA AIK DEATH BODY (MAYYAT) AA RAHI
THEE BACCHAY NA ABBA SA POCHA ABBA "IS KO KAHAN LE KAR JA RAHAY HAIN" ABBA BOLA "BETA IS KO
WAHAN LE JA RAHAY HAIN JAHAN NA ROTI HAY KAPRA HAY NA TV HAY NA CAR HAY NA FAN HAY NA AC HA.....
BACCHA CHEEKH KAR  BOLA "BAS BAS ABBA MEIN SAMAJH GAYA YEH HAMARAY GHAR AARAHA HAY".

miss call
  Joke 
do sikhon nay naya naya mobile phone khareeda. Abh dono rozana aik doosray say mobile phone
par baat karnay lagay. Aik din dono sikh aapas main kahnay lagay kay yaar abh hum mobile phone
 kay istmaal say tangh aachukay hain kiyon na abh purana tareeka (kabootar wala) apnaya jaaie.
Abh dono nay faisla kia kay aik doosray ko message kabootar kay zarie karainghay. silsala kuch
aisay hua kay aik sikh nay kabootr kay ghalay main parchi bandh dhi. kabootar jab doosray sikh
kay pass parchi laikar puhcha to us nay parchi khol kay dekha us main kuchh bhi nahin likha tha,
to sikh nay phone kar kay poocha yaar is parchi main to kuchh bhi nahin likha hua hai. to pahlay
walay sikh nay kaha kay yaar yeh to main nay miss call di hai.......

bloob and bro
  Joke 
here's a funny latifa::
lahoo (blood) sa likh raha huun siahi (ink) na samajh na....
ashik huun tumhara bhai na samajna.....>>
 

Strangers on a Train
  Joke 
A scientist gets on a train to go to New York. His cabin also has a poor farmer in it. To pass
the time the scientist decides to play a game with the guy.
"I will ask you a question and if you get it wrong, you have to pay me 1 dollar. Then you ask me
 a question, and if I get it wrong, you get 10 dollars. You ask me a question first." The farmer
 thinks for a while.
"I know. What has three legs, takes 10 hours to climb up a palm tree, and 10 seconds to get back
 down?" The scientist is confused and thinks long and hard about the question. Finally, the train
ride is coming to an end. As it pulls into the station, the scientist takes out 10 dollars and gives
it to the farmer.
"I don't know. What has 3 legs, takes 10 hours to get up a palm tree and 10 seconds to get back down?"
The farmer takes the 10 dollars and puts it into his pocket. He then takes out 1 dollar and hands it
to the scientist.

The muslim
  Joke 
three people were travelling in a plane. an american takes his hand out of the planeand
says that we  have reached america the other two says how do u know that i reply he says i
can feel cool air then an indian takes his hand out and says that we have reached India the
 other two men ask how can u say that in reply he says i can hear the ringing of the temple bell.
then a muslim take his hand out and says that we have reached pakistan the other two men ask how
 do u know he says someone has stolen my watch.
"I don't know."

Three Presidents
  Joke 
3 presidents (vajpai, musharraf and bush)where travelling in a plane and suddenly a
ghost enters the plane and tells them that he will eat them all.They all get scared,president
Bush says ok but on one condition,that if you get what ever i throw out of the plane.the ghost
agrees then president bush throws his mobile the ghost gets it and eats him then vajpai throw his
 watch and the ghost gets that aswell and eats him too.But now its Mr.Musharraf's turn he farts and
 tell the ghost to go and get it.the ghost trys his level best to get it but fails and Mr.Mussaraf is
now safe. 

HOWZTHAT!
  Joke 
aik batsman bhuhat kush tha ke  kafi dair se creez pe khara hai lbw ki teen
zordar appeals bowler ki taraf se ho chuki theen laikin umpire ne unhe no bowl
 qarar diya aakhir aik shandar bowl karwaee bowler ne to do stumps ukhar gaien
bowler ne batsman ko ghor se dekha aur kaha ke, "mera khayal hai ke tum ab bhi
nahin jaogay kiyunki aik stump ab bhi baqi hai